All Things In One

I’d like to start by recapturing the essence of my previous post. I have had a good deal of time to think about the general principles I wrote about during that very boring and slow week of basic training. As with all writing, more thought and contemplation always leads to the realization that things could have been said better, more succinctly, or more clearly. Here’s another attempt.

Earning and keeping the respect of others is vital to any relationship where knowledge, wisdom, skills, talents, or ability is transferred. Respect is between humans what reverence is between mortals and the divine. Without respect there is no chance for genuinely deep and enriching relationships. When true and abiding respect prevails both the teacher and the learner experience the ultimate satisfaction of the pursuit of knowledge and wisdom.

There are three components to developing genuine respect in the learner/teacher relationship:

1. Competence
2. Trust
3. Devotion.

Respect starts with a recognition by the learner that the teacher is competent. The learner recognizes that the teacher is uniquely positioned to impart some type of knowledge. This is foundational because otherwise the relationship does not form as the learner seeks elsewhere. Of course, this can be due to the failure of the learner to perceive the competence of the teacher, but that is a (very good) topic for another day.

Competence is the gravity field of respect. It draws the eager learning masses toward the adept and skilled as naturally as physical laws. Hopefully without taking the analogy too far, we note here that not all gravitational orbits are closed. Gravity sometimes results in the ejection of smaller bodies away from the more massive one. In like manner, not all masters are capable of being true mentors despite possessing the inward pull of competence. Other parameters must be met to ensure a stable relationship of respect. These are broadly captured by two words: trust and devotion.

Initially, for the relationship to form the learner must somehow communicate the trust they have in the teacher. This is the learner’s recognition of the competence of the teacher. The teacher must then communicate at least the smallest portion of devotion to the learner, perhaps a simple declaration of willingness. This is the teacher’s recognition of the potential of the learner. The entire relationship after this point is a maturing of these two principles into stronger and deeper forms of expression.

Once the relationship has formed and is in its infancy, the teacher must display a certain type of character that now builds the learner’s trust. The learner must be able to trust that the teacher is not only competent, but that the teacher also has the ability to transfer that competence to the learner. To build this trust the teacher must possess and practice the fundamental character traits of integrity, honesty, and humility.

While this trust is being built, for true respect to blossom completely, the teacher must also demonstrate some level of devotion, evidenced by emotional investment in the learner. The fundamental character trait required here is that of love or charity. The manifestation and communication of devotion or love may take different forms including kindness, rebuke, discipline, congratulations, correction, etc.

You may notice that I am taking the point of view that it is primarily the responsibility of the teacher or mentor to develop trust and devotion. While I do believe this to be the case, it is not lost on me that the learner also has a shared responsibility in this endeavor. But as this series is about winning the trust of those we wish to lead and teach, I wish to focus on the primarily responsible party.